The Concentrating Machine

I have invented something – the Concentrating Machine. It’ll be available in all good technology stores from 2015.


We won’t need to be able to focus on anything for longer than 10 seconds by then anyway, as we’ll all be “fully plugged-in” – that’s not a moral dilemma but a foregone conclusion – but for occasions when we DO need to, such as weddings, funerals, exams, learning, lectures, performance, experiencing joy, human interaction, invention, composition, you will simply be able to strap my Concentrating Machine on prior to the event. Your performance will be enhanced. All distractions will temporarily be blurred out. It will allow you to focus on a Single Event once again.

The Concentrating Machine


Worn on the head like a helmet, and tapping into your brain via strap-on sensors, it will target and adjust the mind’s neurotransmitters accordingly, leaving you free to Retain The Focus. It also works by eliminating Background Fuzz. It shields your immediate vicinity from roaming megabytes and megabyte sickness, aka chronic Underinformedness Anxiety. It temporarily occludes the receptors in the brain that register feelings of megabyte deficit, and FOMO (fear of missing out), and Something-More-Interesting hunger, and replaces them with a temporary feeling of calm and satiety. There will be a dial allowing you to select the length, and strength, of Concentration required – settings range from Mild (5 mins) to Intense (1 human day). Feelings of strange hollowness and discomfort may arise at the highest setting for some users.


Information as we all know is transient and flows through us like a rapid torrent of electrons. Simple economics dictate that the more there is of it, the less value any of it has. Therefore we have a new problem: RealTime Streaming Bumph. My machine impedes this flow, creating a virtual ‘dome’ of shelter if you like, shielding the user from MB Bombardment, halting the volumetric flow rate of bumph to ‘manageable’, meaning we can Stop To Grasp. Creativity, Reflection, Pondering, Presentness: they are all yours for a moment. It is like fitting a shredder on your cat-flap to stop Junk Mail Delivery At Source.

Our brains of the future are no longer needed as The Sponge Model (absorb and hold), or The Dam Model (impede and collect) –


and instead are more like The “Waterwheel” Model, or Sluice Gate Model (conduct, flood, let pass through):


Whoooosh! Right? But sometimes we just want to turn off the tap and focus.


Lack of data retention ability or Focus<10s can easily be overcome with this amazing new device.

The Concentrating Machine

The Concentrating Machine.
Make distraction a thing of the past.

We will all be wearing these in the future. Only part-time, yes; but I predict they will meet a need.

Love, Annie Copland.

Monday 23rd September 2013.

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