A Tale of Confusing Packaging…

I got a fright the other day as I was walking down the toiletries aisle of the supermarket looking for some girlie sanitary products. There it was, emblazoned across the shelf, in large bold type, a sign advertising:

“Digital Tampons”.

For one scary moment I actually thought (it was still well early in the morning; I was probably half-asleep), ‘Well blimey me! What the HELL are they? They sound painful.’

For one very strange minute I had this completely freaked-out mental relapse where I was not in a supermarket aisle at all but in some bizarre, freaked-up horror film where some pervy psychopath does things to you with probes and crocodile clips that are simply unmentionable.

Digital tampons, digital tampons….Come on girl, think! – All I could come up with though was the thought that perhaps I’d been cryogenically preserved for decades and had accidentally woken up in the year 2065. Where everything had gone digital. We had digital clocks these days…digital handsets…digital thermometers…surely…..Nooooo…they can’t be….! Not wee things that now glow up in the dark or which automatically pop in and out according to your body’s menstrual whims, surely? Not things with little flashing LEDs and microcomputers in them which you can pre-programme with a remote? Perhaps it’s a novelty Christmas gift idea. A cotton mouse that’s also a barometer-cum-anemometer-cum-sat-nav. Jings! Ach, dearie me…not like those old cardboard cotton woolly things you used to have to ram up there yourself like they had back in 2007…. Perhaps it’s a Japanese technology…they always were pretty good with developing their micro-gadgets…But this! This might have gone TOO far…

Seconds later, I was, thankfully, snapped out of my daze as I was reminded of the origins of the word ‘digital’ – coming from the Latin digitus, meaning finger or toe. Phew. I was back in the real world after all. Oh it means FINGER. As opposed to cardboard. Into the shopping basket with those, my familiar old friends!

But on second thoughts, if ever I WAS going to steal a patent for something, well…..


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